I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
