my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
bring money and cleavage
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
