Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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