Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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