Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
