so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
