put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
