Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize