He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
