hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
