That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
