My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
