All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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