Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
