VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
