So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
