What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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