Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
two words: eviction party
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
