How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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