I want to make a zoo with you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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