just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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