and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
