My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
