No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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