Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
