It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
