Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
