You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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