i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
