she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
