Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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