Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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