apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
