yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
