OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
