guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
