All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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