Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
