Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
