I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
