Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
