Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
