Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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