My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
