Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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