Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
