It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
