..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
