Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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