Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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