today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
