Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
