I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
