Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
