I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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