its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
